Like many PhD students, I have multiple roles and responsibilities in my life including being a husband, father of five, provider and student. OK, maybe not all PhD students have five kids but I love being a dad more than anything and I will never complain about having a big family and being in school. I chose to climb this mountain and I am going to take my family along with me just like I take them snow skiing with me and hiking and camping with me. I think the hardest thing I have ever done is teach three little kids to ski, AT THE SAME TIME, by myself! The rewards are worth it all though when I go skiing now and they all tear it up down the mountain in front of me.
I listed my responsibilities in the title of this blog in order of importance to me. First comes my wife! I love my wife and I do everything that I can to support her and show her my appreciation for all that she does for me and my family. Last night when I got home I made my priority to help her in any way that I could, which included cleaning up ALL the laundry detergent that our three year old dumped on the floor of the laundry room, doing the dishes, and staying up through the night with the same three year old as she threw up all over her bed, clothes, carpet and bathroom! Yes, I had homework to finish and yes I was tired and NO I don't like cleaning up throw up but I try to maintain my priorities of husband, father, provider and student.
I also try to live by the rule that when Dad is home he is Dad and not student. When I get home I play outside with the kids and help with homework and dinner and dishes and holding the baby and LISTENING to all that they kids have to say about school and teachers and friends and funny things they saw or heard or did throughout the day. I strongly believe that when priorities are right, all other things fall into place or they simply drop out of our lives...which means that they are not necessary to begin with. Unfortunately, exercise has been one of those things that has no place or time in my life right now! I just hope that the time I spend walking to and from class will do the job for now!
The hardest of my responsibilities right now is being a provider. Going to school is great and being a husband and father are great but working while going to school full time is rough to say the least. If there is a will, and a loving and understanding wife, then it is possible to work and provide for a family and go to school full time. It requires long days and late nights and early mornings and a lot of patience but it is possible. We have a family motto this year, thanks to my great wife, that is keeping me alive and healthy through all of this. The motto comes from the Bible, Hebrews chapter 12:1-2, which says "Let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith". Every single day I tell myself that I need to run with patience today and not be rushed but be calm and enjoy the world around me and I will get through the day.
For me, being a student is the easy part. I love what I am studying. I have many many ideas for research topics and papers to write and impacts to make in my field. I love learning new things and gaining new skills in geography, statistics, public health and research. I like to find and read new research papers and I like to work on problems that affect peoples lives and health.
I guess what I am trying to say is that no matter how much you have on your plate, if you have priorities and do your best to keep them, you can accomplish more than you thought possible. Some students are stunned when I tell them I have five kids...and then I tell them that I work as well and they say that it is not possible. I say that it is possible as long as you run with patience and take each day one at a time...and realize that the grace of God makes all things possible.
No comments:
Post a Comment